The tax haven’s university library is interesting. It does not style itself as such, preferring to be called the Luxemburg Learning Centre. This grand title has not been challenged by any other institutions, the national library is content with its equally grand Bibliothèque nationale, but I fear this name signals something different, the LLC feels much more like a film set than an actual library, designed for the prime minster to come and visit (like he did on Wednesday) rather than to be actually used by students. The design of the library is sleek and modern, a glass exterior with white everywhere, accented constantly by rusted steel that used to be a part of the old foundries that were progressively closed by globalization. My de facto workspace in the LLC – E03-42 – is located on the top floor of the library, overlooking the whole library as the east side of it is designed to appear as though it is floating, jutting out into open space from the west side’s foundations. I do not sit in these floating pods; I prefer my traditional desk looking out at it all.
The LLC is light on books, Richard Soderlund once told me the same about Illinois Wesleyan’s library when we went to a DSA meeting there, I did not understand what he meant by that until now. The history section – what in the world could be more important? – is acceptable, a mix of French, English, and German literature organized by the Dewey Decimal System. I prefer Milner’s collection, but the library is young, only 20 years or so, I try to be generous. The software they use to research their collection is not bad, it is the same that Milner adopted around the time of my graduation. I never fully understood Milner’s new system, but this was my chance to learn it. While searching for books in the catalog I noticed an emphasis on online copies, I always prefer physical copies, but I can make do. Students are given 12.50 euro in free printing every semester so if I am strategic, I will survive. The catalog does not just show me the LLC’s collection, however, but collections from across the country, from the University of Miami’s satellite campus, to the BnL, to local lycées and collèges. I had a hard time finding the inter-library loan system, so I collected the list of books I wanted to borrow and found a librarian to order them for delivery.
The librarians here are great, extremely patient, and generous, I would gladly walk through a battlefield for them. The librarian I talked to was upset to tell me that I could not order any of the books, that there is no delivery system. Disheartened, I went on my way, one of the books I wanted to get was in a nearby local library, perhaps I could go when they’re open. It turns out that libraries are not very important to the people of the tax haven, here are the hours of my local library in Esch-sur-Alzette:
I ended up returning to the LLC before I made it to the local library and politely asked the librarian about the inter-library loan system, she was saddened to tell me that there is none, Luxembourg does not have an inter-library loan system and that I will have to get a library card from every library I want a book from. I informed the librarian that many of the books I want are at high school libraries, I do not think they would let me in, she kindly agreed and told me that I simply cannot get the books I am searching for. Seeing my utter dejection – I rarely get mad at employees, they are just the messengers – she informed me of the library acquisition form on the website. It takes time, and they will randomly reject certain requests, but it is my window to the wider world.
Why show me materials that I cannot use? It turns out that there is one library catalog for the whole country (the prime minister’s watchword is digitization!) but they neglected to establish an actual inter-library loan system! I have tried to find ways to limit my search queries to only the LLC, I don’t need to see books that I can’t access but there is no such option. Every time I search the national catalog (a-z.lu) I am bombarded with texts that are out of my reach. Water, water everywhere, / Nor any drop to drink.
I feel like a prisoner in my own university. Long ago, I accepted being masked at the library but the uselessness of it all is overwhelming. I have already filled 15 acquisition requests, but they are slow to be fulfilled. There is also a preference for e-books wherever possible, upsetting, but I will have to learn to make do. Like my socialism I have given up hope of benefitting from my acquisition requests – the speed at which they are processed is nothing to behold – but I hold onto the hope that a future student will benefit from the silent sacrifices I am working to correct. Perhaps I can find some library-users union or even a political organization that is pushing to create a countrywide system. I am doubtful, the university’s students (and the country as a whole for that matter) is woefully atomized. The tax haven is in the end of history and its library looks the part, garnished with the corpse of industrial modernism, floating, unattached from the bookshelves behind me. I am a prisoner in this library, and it sometimes feels like I am a prisoner in this country.
I wonder if, knowing what I know now, I still would have come here. I miss my friends, but the ISU History club died long ago, there are few things left for me in my intellectual home. Andrew (Weeks) and Richard Soderlund are there, I miss them both deeply. My chèrs cityons Cody (Kern) and Erik (Lynch) are also there. On my last night in Normal before I came here, we went drinking at a local bar. I can still see the tears in Richard’s eyes as he hugged me goodbye. I feel as though I have abandoned my friends and set myself adrift. Andrew (Weeks) does a good job at keeping me grounded, but this damn library is holding me prisoner, Milner was sweet liberty, my own personal agora, the LLC has no pretentions to filling that role.
Signed,
Andrew (Pfannkuche)
Normal Thoughts 