A Client Satisfaction Survey for Passengers Crossing the River Styx and Entering the Land of Shadows

On a scale of one to ten, I was very satisfied/ totally repulsed by the last leg of my journey.

Typical response: “Breaks the scale for bad. Worse than anyone can imagine. Service was ok but conditions were awful.”


Would you say that crossing the Styx provided a meaningful conclusion to your journey through the world?

Typical response: “Outrageous! Totally meaningless! A sordid business!”


What was the worst thing about your transition from life to death? 

Typical response: “You knew it had to end badly!”


What was the best thing about it?

“It ended.”


Based on what you have experienced, would you still recommend a journey through life to client souls?

— But here the responses come out surprisingly mixed with many positives coming precisely from the worst complainers.  Puzzling over this paradox, the gods recall that in the ancient world a terribly negative view of death and the afterlife prevailed, yet the pagans loved this world and life with an intensity that later became nearly unimaginable. They didn’t anesthetize themselves by suppressing every thought of their inevitable demise. They didn’t embalm their life with material possessions or cloak it in delusions about their saving goodness or assuage their consciences by taking out a policy in the Eternal Life Insurance Association. They looked death in the eye and lived.

Signed,

Andrew (Weeks)

Published by pfannkuchea

A graduate student at the University of Luxembourg, I study the French Third Republic and liberalism more generally.

Leave a comment