I’ve been promising to put an end to this ill-advised account of my decline, and I think the proper moment has arrived. I came to this decision because on the one hand, it was becoming too much like a compulsion, one that urged an over-dramatization of the banal condition of dying, and on the other hand, I simply prefer to exercise agency and end on an upbeat. Now is a good moment for doing that. If I post anything else here, it will be as an appendix and afterthought. Now is the moment when I can confidently embrace the positive truth of my situation. I am now convinced of the loving embrace of my family. This gives meaning to my intention to put an end to things so that I’m not the high-maintenance lost cause that I would no doubt be, given the slow progression of my ALS. Who, other than the most flagrant coward or egotist, would choose anything else? The young person who wants to see his children grow might justifiably opt for life at any cost. But I’m not young and I have already had the pleasure of seeing my children grow to maturity. With this in mind, no shadow falls across my daily pleasures of being in this world. It was nice while it lasted. As soon as I find it impossible to swallow or breathe without terror of suffocation, I will call it quits by ceasing to eat until I fade into the great darkness and silence of death.
Signed,
Andrew (Weeks)
Normal Thoughts 