My third semester has begun. Unlike when I first arrived, I am now fully cognizant of the despair and hopelessness that inhabits the halls of the tax haven’s university. But I began this semester happy.
In Paris, I began reading Camus’s Myth of Sisyphus and I am (like most readers) in awe of his final words: “…il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux.” In English we translate that line to “one must imagine Sisyphus happy” but the translation is wrong. “Il faut” is not a demand, but a strong suggestion, literally translating to “it is needed,” and not ‘must.’ Falloir recognizes the readers existential liberty in a way that ‘must’ does not. It accepts freedom but suggests that to forgo that freedom is not the correct path. One needs to imagine Sisyphus happy, but it is not mandatory.
But I have imagined Sisyphus happy, and, in doing so, found my own joy in the process. The work I do in the tax haven’s ivory tower is definitionally sisyphusian but I have not walked down the mountain with dread, but with joy. Erik (Lynch) sent me a line from Goethe over the summer that said that “one ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.” To the list, I romantically added seeing a beautiful woman and the tax haven has experienced a sudden increase in beauty.
Whether that increase in beauty is by chance or by outlook is up for debate. What matters is that I see it, and I feel like the days are becoming brighter. I have begun whistling in the street and talking to a pretty woman at the bus stop. Instead of reading another piece of EU propaganda I have been reading Camus and – after many requests by Andrew (Weeks) – the New York Review of Books. I am fed up with the meaninglessness and have created a meaning for myself. I am condemned to “hard” (academic) labor, so I have revolted. I have organized a one-man strike, and, in my revolt against all that this tax haven holds dear, I am happy.
I have imagined Sisyphus on the picket lines of life, which is why I can finally imagine Sisyphus happy.
Signed,
Andrew (Pfannkuche)
Normal Thoughts 